i've been sick these couple of days. fever, coughs and what nots. my bedroom has become something of a forbidden lair. i laid on my bed munching on a nice cold chunk of guava and then my brother's head popped in at somewhere around the doorway with his hand over his nose and mouth. i said to him 'welcome'. and then he goes away.

i've had two bouts of flu this season. sounds just about like me, i realise.

=

i have apologized over and over for not being enough, or who you want or need. on the contrary, i am in fact no superman. there are many wrong calls i've made to regret but i realise i have nothing more to say 'cause this is clearly me wanting to make the most of what i have left. we had something we thought was gonna last forever, but even that is naive when we aren't quite prepared to give it all. do we even know what it is to give it all? i can't be sure, but i could say i've tried at least and when things still still still STILL have a way of falling apart over and over when you least expect...

that is when its probably time.

it is this... this very perspective that has kept me from looking back at our history. but believe me when i say this, when it was just you and i and that timelessness, it really was good for me, too. i had meant it all.


"chances are, we'll find a new equation."
- five for fighting, chances.

Labels: life, sick