wmp: hate that i love you, neyo ft rihanna

it's a rainy night and i can't really get to sleep. it's odd 'cause i remember being super lethargic throughout the entire day. maybe it's the excitement. all the planning of leave and i can only anticipate the months ahead. there're gonna be good even though i'm not exactly sure whats really up ahead but perhaps that's the reason why i'm just so excited.

my knee has been acting up alittle bit again. my aunt recently got metal plates implanted into her knee if i got the story right. i wonder how she's doing. it's makes me worry about myself in 20 years time.

i've been listening to that song over and over. someday down the road when i hear this song again, i most probably will think of these couple of days of the few last months before i ord.

"Balong-long" is a funny but happy word.

Labels: bad knee, ns

wmp: third eye blind, farther

this month i've splurged a good portion of my pay of which a good 160 bucks went to a pair of skates, and a couple of bucks more on a marvel graphic novel and two other books on a new found hobby of coins & cards. since then i've lost the urge to draw out the notes so readily again especially after that pair of skates that i'm not sure i even have the time for (or so it seems for now)...

on the eve of the course i caught bourne ultimatum with my brother. i was glad my brother, who sacrificed a study night, had thought the trip down and the film was all worth it.

during the last two weeks a bunch of us had two stayovers in the office due to late nights the course extended into. it wasn't so bad or at least better than just rushing home, touch the door, and be back the next morning. on the second stayover we watched saw iii, something i thought i would nv do because of the gore but i did nevertheless, for the storyline sake. it was close to three in the morning when we decided to slip into our sleeping bags. i was glad to have left mine around for the past few months.

i stayed up on saturday night finishing the graphic novel, earth x, at some 4am. and then it was another day at the beach on sunday. the weather almost crossed the line that would have ruined what's left of the day. we played a couple of pairs. i haven't ran so frantically after a ball in awhile. i hoped no one saw us play mini vball. we finally decided to head to the 'pit stop' after standing around for quite awhile after dinner and the quick trip to the evil 'candy empire'. i don't know how but i blurted out 'coffeebucks' for the second time. the 'ticket to ride' proved to be interesting board game, yet frustrating at some point of time or another. the moment of truth came when we finally counted our final scores that left fh basking in her victory. ugly ugly ugly wasn't much of fun, at least for me, for obvious reasons. when it was finally time to head home felix & i made a quick tour around 'central' before we went our seperate ways. i boarded the train along with the throngs of fellow commuters, feeling the sore of a bad right knee, popping gummi bears all the way...

monday morning came. as i walked out of the back gate to the train station, thoughts of the night before continued to linger...

Labels: bad knee, beach, gessvball, money, movie, ns, sleepovers

wmp: shape shifter, my enemy

of late the office has become a living hell. from the demography to write ups, write ups to maps, endless overlays and cluttered powerpoints, and it doesn't get easier working with people (i never was a people kind of person though i try to). the straight hours of work i put in has left me with the ridiculous fear of getting hit by carpel tunnel with every click on the mouse i take.

i can still feel the effects of the 6km run that monday morning on the knee. its been the longest run since last year sometime around this time, too, when i busted it on the low ramp. sucks thinkin' about it, really. everytime.. single.. time. t'was alot left in me that morning. i could have gone a couple rounds more. i find it hard not to resign to fate that i have to live with that kind of milage. i know it ain't the end of the world but i truely miss the zenith of a real good run, when the attire becomes heavy of perspiration, and the breathlessness an addiction.

which leaves me tempted to get a pair of skates.

Labels: bad knee, ns

wmp: jimmy eat world - my sundown.

for the last two weeks we made three trips to the beach of which one was on vesak day. we started out our first game in the drizzle and cold wind but found ourselves winning game after game till the weather grew fine and us, worn out. the consecutive matches were honestly hard on my knee and even my neck was getting it from the frantic hard dives but i guess the satisfaction of victory(especially of that one match) and feeling of personal worth more than made up for it. it was finally after a couple of friendlies with zh and her gang that we decided to hit the showers.

the day after was felix day and we met up again at city hall. along the way i saw sgt sutan. let's just say it was an awkward moment but i was left reminiscing the good times in bmt. it was dinner at the esplanade and we lazed around before spending the night at felix place and then we were back at the beach the next morning. we had a couple of good games. old jjc senior guys were around. i wasn't in much shape to do much at the end of the day so i sat out of the last match. but i was soon obliged to join another game with my fellow jjc mates. apparently, that wasn't very spartan of me according to the rest of the go5.

it was back to work eventually. friday came eventually too. i walked out of camp and found the thick clouds blotting out the sun. it felt unusual like a day after working OT but i was right on time out, 530pm. there were alot of change of plans for the night but jj, jb and i eventually caught oceans13 at jp. it was a good film. recommended.

saturday. i met up with everyone else late at the beach. we didn't play much ball but found ourselves lazing around and eventually fooling around along the shore. we realised throwing handfuls of sand hard at each other can be very cathartic. there were two sides at war. then sj betrayed kw, kw betrayed me and it turned out to be something quite out of the infernal affairs. in the end, i was on my own. i put up a brave struggle for which a good scratch along the side of my body can attest to. i did not take a good look at it until i saw it again at kw's place on the mirror where i realised how wicked it looked.

some where along the way kw mentioned that he had a bottle of vodka at his place and i couldn't resist suggesting a night at his place since we wld probably end up not knowin' our next move after the beach anyway. we made it to the bottom of the bottles of vodka and wine in no time. it was a joyful night around the table. t'was even talk about coming over to my place for the chivas but we didn't exactly get to that. felix & cs were engaging in conversations which didn't really go anywhere nor made much sense either but kept sj & i amused and entertained nevertheless.

absolut ruby red - $30. red wine - $25. felix throwing up in a plastic bag with a hole laying puke all over kw's floor - priceless.

i was sent crawling on the floor in pure hard laughter.

it was a good night. haha. till next time, whenever it may be...

Labels: bad knee, beach, go5

wmp: jacks mannequin, dark blue

the trip to the beach last weekend was better than i had expected apart from getting my toe hooked onto by a fucking fish hook left around by some irrespossible dumbass and having someone's heel planted right onto my feet ripping some skin off with the very abrasive sand in between...

it's been unbelievably a year. i had not much of good spikes but they were enough to make my day. having the ball in midair, i was less conscious of my movements despite my bad knee and it was liberating. towards the end of the day my stomach was almost trying to eat itself while my knee ached like a knife was twisting about within but yeah, somehow glad i dragged myself out of the house still...

it was work back as usual on wednesday, thursday and finally friday. my monday is gonna be fucked up. the entire upcoming week for that matter. i wonder why me. i thought i might as well pull out a chair, crack open a beer, and watch it come. i've decided to take the backseat when it rains shit.

if it's any consolation i'm watching spider-man tomorrow... o'boy...

united 300. this, is funny.

Labels: bad knee, beach, fuck, monday, movie, ns

wmp: the ataris, the night that the lights went out in nyc

the week of the course got off on a pretty bad start when i fell ill on the last day of preprations for the course. i made my way home through the rainy weather after a bout of apologies for my absence in the office and still feeling really bad thereafter when jj & jb were still by the photocopy machine making god damn copy after copy of publications.

after two panadols i went to bed at 37.7 degrees worried about pulling through the next day but woke up feeling faster, stronger, all ready to go. i felt it was quite a miracle.

i made it through the week with coughs and a general weakness. the weekend was a relieve. my dad drove us out on saturday night and the aimless drive late out in the night on deserted roads through the stillness of the night brought us to the night safari. after realising that there was a 50% off the admission only when you print out and present a voucher to them and though it made not much of sense to me, we didn't mind coming back the following night. it was quite an experience observing the myraid of nocturnal animals at such close quarters especially coming face to face, all of a sudden, with a bat. hanging by a branch. unshackled.

the tiresome course resumed after the weekend was tragically over. a couple of us stayed over in the office because of the late training programme. we took out a deck of cards and the night dragged on. the card tricks were very impressive. closing in on 2am i passed out in a sleeping bag on the table and woke up when warrant P walked in and it was the start of another beautifuck day...

while making our ways down to the warehouse, jj and i chanced upon the yellow lamborghini that many from around the camp were talking about and i guess naturally so. it was quite a sight to behold...

perhaps its life in the office but these days i tend to jump around more than usual, with maybe a few short punches, kicks even. i've thought it might have been short bursts of unexpended energy just to prevent a sort of overload. not that i can expend engery in a way that doesn't bring about as much attention with a really problematic right knee.

of late i materialised what i might call a childhood obsession into a humble collection of toys through the yahoo auctions and sgcollect forum. click on here.

Labels: bad knee, boredom, family, fuck, nightlife, ns, sleep, superheroes

wm: anberlin - uncanny

back is aching, knee is hurting. thank God the weekend is here.

chore after chore, the three days were hard. it's been a long time since i had a 0530 reveille.

our work was finally done when everyone fell out after dinner at the mess. we had some time to ourselves. foosball had always been fun. especially when the stakes went up as high as 4000 push ups. i left early to meet up with some of the go5. the 6th sequel of 'rocky' was kinda disappointing but i wasn't expecting much in the first place.

my weekend was low keyed; i wasn't in much favor of doing anything. it cld have been the fatigue. or the highly scheduled weeks ahead.

335 days till ord. it's thrilling to think that that day will inevitably come.

Labels: bad knee, movie, ns

lately i've been able to sleep right through into the afternoons without being bothered by the morning glare because of the new curtains i've put up. i was explaining to the sales lady at ikea that i was looking for curtains tt cld shut out light completely unlike my previous ones and she mentioned 'black out' curtains and i knew at the sound of that t'was what i was looking for.

and i was right. superb.

-

my doctors appointment with regards to my knee didn't go too well. the memo to the camp's MO had got nothing abt patella chondromalacia which the last doctor had diagnosed during the last visit. along with the memo was a MRI report which showed everything to be normal. another review was scheduled in 3 mths time. they seem to have ran out of ideas while the problem remains evident only to me. truely fucked up.

-

so the go5 met up again last saturday going around home visiting. we lost track of time along the way and eventually gave the last stop a miss to meet up with the girls at holland v in the late evening. we proceeded to essential brews where we spend most of the night playing cards. towards the end i cldnt quite keep up and the late nights i've had were proving to be too much.

after walking out of the cafe half the group went off leaving just joce, cs, kw and i in the end to ponder our next move. we went over to my place first after i made a call to my dad to use the car just for a short drive out for supper. it was strange of him to agree so readily even when i told him we were making a trip to joce's place too.

the initial plan was to go for supper, make a trip to joce's place, and then head back for a swim at my place but after having seen a full house at the prata shop we brought supper to joce house instead after dropping my brother back home. we had some chat before leaving just before dawn broke and made it back after a drive on wondrously clear roads.

back at in my room i had to whip out that fuckin' deck of cards and suggest blackjack. i was on the losing end and what was meant to be the last round became the last 3 and then it could have gone on forever. i laid on the bed crying out loud in misery while they ignore me and the nonsense mantra i was chanting. i felt like dieing but the thing was i couldn't quite die.

in the afternoon after they left and a short nap i took, i began browsing through the downloaded contents of cs's hard drive and i came across 'the longest yard' which i had wanted to watched in the past. the film followed a somewhat predictable storyline but it was worth the watch still really.

my family and i went over to my uncle's place in the evening. after dinner my mum saw how lethargic i looked and we decided to make an early move. besides, cards later in the night would really have turned me off after my last tragic experience which left me most depressed.

i slept especially early that night.

monday morning came, i woke up feeling really concussed. dragged myself to the office.

Labels: bad knee, cny, gessvball, go5, monday, sleep

wmp: everclear - wonderful

last night my senior invited me to join the inter-con vball competition again this year. i couldn't say yes. i wish i could. sleep didn't come easy with the rampant thoughts that followed. i spend an hour or so on bed tossing, thinking about my knee and how i used to be able to do so much more. one thing i can't and refuse to understand is how the doctors can’t seem to find the fault; makes things a hell lot more frustrating...

these days all i wish for are really just nights of deep sleep...

i had the weirdest dream a few nights back. of superheroes and ghosts. wasn't some wet dream but it was fantastic, really. so much so i felt like penning it down but i couldn't remember much of it. except that t'was a fleet of them up in the evening sky. green lantern, superman... the rest of the figures i guess were too far below to make out. and then everything appeared to be out from an rpg game. in the end upon waking up to the glare, i cld't really tell if i was really the guy who was running around when i tried to recall.

i've always found joy in fantasizing abt superheroes, ever since i was a kid who started watchin' tv.


so after a few nights and a full sunday at home i finally managed to finish the layout for this new journal. this wasn't the intended plan; i was waiting for the perfect picture to come along. something cinematic perhaps. and then build a theme around it. that picture didn't come along but i realise that perhaps some of the best pictures came from some of the best memories i had. thus, the montage. i couldn't get myself to change the font colors; orange is just awesome. and i didn't knew html/css would be so demandingly critical(i only had a peace of mind after the fine tuning was done today at work itself). so yeah... this is more or less it...

welcome.

Labels: bad knee, blog layout, dreams, sleep, superheroes