with the upcoming sundown 10k run this saturday i should really start running. and i will run the shit of myself tomorrow. i write this hoping that it would bind me to my words.

i've always thought the wildest thing on the mtv was the 'wild boyz' but 'nitro circus' is damn cool...

towards the end of the day at the beach, i guess it was only then that we started to play like we really meant it. it was glorious, the victory.

i kinda miss those days where heading to the beach was something of an weekly affair. the days ahead when this vacation period is gonna be over will be as tragic as it gets... its already almost for certain.

i can't remember much of what i did for the week since sunday. after beach we had quite a meal at astons. we played 'left for dead'. long while since i've had a go at video games. would have been better if not for the nausea that came along from running around with zombies lurking at every corner.

somewhere along the week, cindy and i took a seat at 'canele'. they served superb ice cream deserts. i believe they called it 'nougatine', and for a good reason too - i could almost say it was what i craved for all my life.

i just came back from the dentist not too long ago. the screeching of the drill scares me actually. my teeth, i never thought they were in that bad shape. it makes me wanna lay off the 'nougatine' for now.

tonight's night at timbre is cancelled yet again. i hope we really make it there next thursday. i really hope so.

at something around midnight tonight the results for the last examinations will be out. hmm. .

but for now, i'm off to wash the car.

tataa.

i really think i'm missing out on something...

2kilos in two weeks. i think its a start of something beautiful.

they tore my ticket, i watched wolverine.
past midnight, at the brewerkz with schoolmates. and a cab home.
there is something nostalgic about cab rides home.
then, some three hour phone conversation. some crossroads.
i bought a new record; jars of clay, the long fall back to earth.
this swim i had; this heart rate that could've killed.
i want to grow. and i think i will.
another night at badens. old friends. and one more pint.
i burp erdinger, still.
in my bedroom the aircon leaks loud into the bin.
on this stormy night 'stardust' is nothing short of fantastic. even on a 14" laptop screen.
maybe i need a good read. or a job. or just one good day at the beach.
i will take life easy, or try at least.

its 4 in the morning. i can't get to sleep. just finished checking out steve donahue alittle.

i headed out for a run circumferencing jurong lake to the point of the turn. it was a hard run; i've never been so out of breath. i made it back to the gym. the eight pounds felt like ten. and ten like twenty. perhaps its because of the late nights. or how things have been for nearly a week. maybe i'll never be like how i used to be but i try to tell myself i will not degenerate.

i've grown scrawny during the past two semesters. limbs like twigs that stick out from the body. this summer break i will play hard. tennis, vball, sundown, gym, squash, run...

i guess we aren't caught between what we are now and what we wish or hope for from each other anymore. somehow, someway, it became something so beyond us.

what is noise? noise is what we want to believe is noise. what is an answer? an answer is what we want to believe is an answer. for prayers unanswered, we turn to flipping a couple of pages just so we can tangibly see what we want to believe is too much of a coincidence? sometimes we're so caught up with seeking answers, we just do.

i believe He speaks to us as long as we want to listen. i believe we will hear Him in His own time. there is no need even to hear or see a sign. that is my faith.

today, when the ten felt like a twenty, i want to believe that it was Him i felt.

i will not degenerate.